A new day, a new year….
I have not posted anything for almost a couple of months, because I had a few problems when trying to write the last post, and trying to do the whole photo-thing at the same time, and that was all me not understanding how this thing with the app (last time on my phone, this time on my tablet) and posting in general, works, because I am still very much learning 🙂 I will get better, though….. I hope xD
Okay, so the thing is….. I suck…. At reading feelings, mostly my own, but also other people’s…. And when I say “reading”, I mostly mean “being able to identify and understand” said feelings…. Usually no matter which ever feelings they are….
I have known, for quite a while now, that I usually don’t “feel” anything for a couple or three days after a given situation/incident, and only just today did it dawn on me, that that is most likely the amount of time it takes for the situation and what has happened to fully sink in, for me to fully comprehend and understand (yaaaay, redundancy 😛 ), what has happened, what has been said, what has taken place between that other person and myself….
I have a strong tendency to overthink things…. Turn them over, mull them over, again, and again, in my mind, trying to understand, desperate to understand what I probably never actually will understand….
It makes interaction with other people very hard…. Increasingly hard… At least for me….. Will it ever get better? I have my doubts, to be honest….
My mind/brain works better when I have a partner/someone to bounce my thoughts off on, someone who gives me feedback and who wants to, and is able to, talk the things and/or situations over with me… 🙂 When I don’t have that, I get lost, lost in my thoughts, and I get more and more confused….
I don’t know what the solution is…. I don’t know if I will ever learn to navigate the seas of interaction with confidence…. I am having enough trouble as it is with the language alone xD
I am trying though, every day I am trying and, hopefully, learning and getting better…. Or, at least, not messing up as much as I could be doing xD
My “supervisor” told me something today that really made me think, and which I feel I actually believe; You are you, and that’s okay, I am me and that’s okay too…. We might not always agree on everything or even understand everything about each other, but that is also okay 🙂
This might be the first pebble for me, the first step on the way to changing my opinion of myself and my worth, in comparison with other people 🙂 We’ll see what happens 🙂
And now, off to bed…. I am having my sleep monitored tonight, and I am very tired, it looks like…. 🙂
Be fantastic my loves ❤